My two boys, ages 8 and 10, are very comfortable surfing the internet to find the latest Star Wars videos or rare Pokemon card on Ebay.  Advertisements flash up on their iPad screens that they quickly close because it’s disrupting their technology time.  But sometimes they discover a new video they want to watch because it just automatically started to play after their video of choice ended.  What if it was a porn video? Would my child who is still in Pandora’s box boys actually continue to watch it?

Research says yes. The average age of first exposure to pornography is between ages 9 and 11. And just like that – the box is open. As disturbing as this sounds, it makes sense.  Kids have access to iPads, smartphones and computers everywhere they go.  How many of your kids devices are equipped with parental settings to avoid unwanted exposures? And if yours are, what about their friend’s devices?

So as parents, we need to be prepared for the conversation. At Turning Teen we recommend having the conversation before they even accidentally stumble upon it themselves. Children need to know porn is addictive and not a representation of real relationships.

The following points are a summary from an excellent article  “True Confession: I Showed Porn to my Children” by Kathleen Berchelmann, M.D.

How to “Porn Proof your Kids”

  1. Turn on porn filters and parental controls on all technology your kids can access.
  2. Get rid of your own porn (to your husband’s dismay).
  3. Be a role model and show your children what a healthy, loving relationship looks like.
  4. Educate yourself – by reading this blog, the article above, and the plethora of research out there about this problem…because it’s a real issue.  

So how does Porn fit into the same sentence as puberty? Puberty is a time of growth and change.  It is also a time where are children are very impressionable.   It is crucial in puberty that we teach our children about their bodies, including the importance of respect for the bodies.  The last place we want our children learning about their bodies or what a healthy relationship looks like is from the porn industry.   So, as with most other issues in puberty, get to your child first; before their friends, before the internet and before an x-rated pop up video.  You will never regret preparing and helping them understand what they are seeing.

As always, we support the use of books as a tool for educating kids (and taking the pressure of parents), check out the book “Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn Proofing Today’s Young Kids”.

Dr. Lisa

51qs4MxwXbL._SX398_BO1,204,203,200_